Cooking with Kuchy: Cheesy Wino Spinach

Most meals are made on the fly based on what I have in the house. I use recipes like the Pirate Code, they are merely guidelines.

In the freezer was spinach. Sounded healthy enough.

I assume all vegetables either need olive or wine. I had wine that I wanted to drink so the decision was made easy. The wine featured today was a Virginia dessert wine called Black Jack from Corcoran winery that the lady recommended drinking in the morning after you sent the kids to school. Definitely a wine that goes with Spinach.

I felt like I needed another ingredient. Checked the fridge and BOOM, there’s some Boursin. That stuff makes anything good.

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NOTE: I am not a cook. Or a wino. But now you want to see how this disaster turns out and you’ve already committed by reading for more than 5 seconds, so just keep going.

Spinach collage

Toss the whole bag of spinach in the pan. Don’t even wait a few seconds, pop the wine open and dabble to taste as much wine as you want. I coat the bottom of the pan.

Add the whole slab of cheese at once, don’t waste time breaking it up when you can smoosh it in the pan. Life’s too short.

Pour yourself a cordial glass of that fabulous dessert wine. It’s the only way to cook.

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Voila! About 15 minutes later, I use The Force and based on tasting it, it tasted like it was a delightful way to eat veggies, all cheesy with hints of an alcohol underneath. I give it a 3.5 out of 5.

For the main dish, I had made a freezer meal awhile back with a London broil so cooked that up while spinach was going. The fire alarm went off a couple times, to add a bit of drama but once I remembered the fan on the hood, I was good to go. Recommend using Wonder Woman oven mitts as a fan, though.

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Used the plain dishes because there’s no one to impress. This is real cooking. The Guinness is merely a pirate code suggestion.

Who Needs a Fifty Shades of Grey Bear?

Recently, my friend got a promotion. And not just any friend, but my special smut reading friend who I’ve traded some trashy books with over the years.

So, of course, she deserved a special congratulations present.

She has a great love of Fifty Shades of Grey. A quick Google search later, and for $90 the Vermont Teddy Bear company had this amazingly dirty bear. EDIT: My friend, Mitch, pointed out that this was not my google search nor original idea, his wife was the mastermind behind this. I was merely the executor of the idea. Most ideas are group efforts and this is no different.

Unfortunately, that’s out of my price range for a horny bear.

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http://www.vermontteddybear.com

And I could do better…presenting, Christian Grey bear!

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First, found a teddy bear. Then I went to T.J. Maxx because I remember seeing a onesie with a tuxedo on it. They outdid themselves with this crazy onesie, which has the buttons undone, the tie loosened, and in gray no less! Sidenote: while this is great for my project I’m really questioning the martini drinking baby that’s wearing this.

I cut the back of the onesie and sewed it up to fit the bear. At this point, we could call the project over, however, this is a very special friend and her Christian Grey bear needed a little bit more. I added the butt spanking paddle accessory made out of polymer clay. Further accessories could be added along with handcuffs, blindfolds, nipple clamps, etc. and those are available with further purchase. Suck it, Vermont Teddy Bear, this only cost $7!

What’s Christian Grey without some action shots of his sexual deviance?

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Christian Grey loves making his lover look into the mirror at themselves while he paddles away.

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After researching Furries, Christian knew he had to try something new and was delighted with the result.