French Onion Soup is the snuggie of the soup world, enveloping you with bread and Swiss in a haze of fleecy onions. One of my favorites, especially during a blizzard.
If I can, I use a slow cooker because I’m a lazy ass. You’ll see that as a major theme of my cooking.
Warning, this may type of cooking not be for perfectionists Type As, foodies, or actual cooks.
Let’s get started!
Original recipe is from howsweeteatsis.com
First, you should cut your onions. I don’t. I get too excited. I jumped right to butter (4 Tbs) and garlic (3 cloves), the fatty lotion to this delight. I use a classy Dollar Store garlic press like a boss because it counts as exercise if I have to use both hands.
Next, add balsamic vinegar and brown sugar (2 Tbs each). I even have an 1/8 measuring cup for this precise job! Occasionally, I own cook-like tools.
I finally cut 5 onions. Recipe calls for 4. Screw that, I need more onions in my life. I cut food like a maniac toddler just learning to use utensils which is why when the recipe called for thinly sliced, I cut all kinds of shapes and sizes.
Look at that mess now.
Next, the broth. Turns out I only had one packet of onion soup mix, no beef broth or even bouillon cubes. This recipe calls for 8 cups of beef broth. Substitution – miso soup. I often do these substitutions because I hate the grocery store that much. This is a half and half of onion soup mix and miso soup mix. Then liberally add wine (recipe says 8 oz. but don’t let people question you). And take a sip. Maybe another.
Look at those dehydrated onions. That’s why I added extra real onions. Natural balance will exert itself and the real ones will kill the faux onions and the taste of the kill will only improve this masterpiece.
The recipe calls for 9 hours on low. Jesus. I can’t wait that long. 4 hours on high is fine. These are onions not a baby cow.
Flash forward to this masterpiece! I have had at least three bowls using Swiss cheese (ran out of Gruyere and that cheese is expensive) and plain bread because bread is the background to this delight and while french bread is delightful beyond measure, sometimes you have to make due in a blizzard.
This was delicious and I’d make it again with Gruyere cheese and crispier onions. Note: slice onions ahead of time. Then ignore that advice yet again.