Nostalgic Costume Parade

This past Halloween was the first I didn’t dress as the freak I love to be. I went to a masquerade theme wedding with formal attire and masks. Eyes wide shut style only without the sex and nakedness.

I know it’s been a week since Halloween but let’s revisit some of those creepy-ass, beloved costumes.

My Halloween costumes are all homemade and had three rules:

1) Since I would go out in public for the annual costume contest (gotta share this stuff with the world!) I have to be able to pee.

2)  I need to be able to drink.

3) The costume needs to be recognizable to most people. Explaining it ruins my buzz.

beaker_costumeThere was Beaker with the severed head of Bunsen. I love me some muppets and so did other people based on the awkward chest bumps I got from dudes. Poor Bunsen never saw it coming.bender_costume

Bender is always a hit with drunk and sober people alike. There was even a beerinside for my own personal stash in case I got stranded somewhere, beerless.

piranha_plant_costumePiranha Plant after eating Mario. She ran off to be with Luigi, the sexy of the two. He digs the black widow vibe.

man_yellowhat_costumeThe Man in the Yellow Hat with Rabid Curious George was a hit. Who doesn’t love a cuddly monkey ripping eyeballs out?


Zombie Hello Kitty was one of the more uncomfortable costumes but I have no regrets. YOLO.


Ronald McDonald after he ate the kids. What better costume for someone pregnant. On top of that, I have diverse baby parts representing that this clown eats all babies.

After 6 solid wins of the costume contests, I’m a little sad. That time of my life is over. The wedding was a good segway out. I’m not sorry to leave the bar scene and be home by 10:30pm though. I have a feeling I will have something ridiculous next year planned.

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